Prayer formulated by H.E. Mons. Claudio Gatti on 11th June 2008

This is the prayer that H.E. Mons. Claudio Gatti, Bishop ordained by God, formulated spontaneously before the Eucharist that bled on the occasion of the 8th anniversary of the eucharistic miracle of 11th June 2000.

Never as now am I preparing to celebrate the H. Mass with so much suffering and bitterness in my heart and so much exhaustion and weariness in my body. I had hoped to celebrate the anniversary of the great Eucharistic miracle that took place in my hands, for Your Almighty goodness, in an atmosphere of serenity and celebration. Instead, Jesus, it is a more sad feeling than March 8, 1998, when I celebrated that Mass from which all evils and sufferings that struck us in various ways come out, as an avalanche and in quick succession. It is legitimate to ask ourselves why: why did You make us live three terrible days where we lived a mixture of fear, suffering, loneliness and we felt lonely and forsaken? I had said that they should have been three days of preparation, but they were three days of nightmare. For what happened yesterday during those three hours, Marisa’s cries and screams still resound in my ears, we risked not only the danger of heart attack or ictus, but above all there was danger of death for both of us. It would have been sweet and beautiful to die, and it would have been desirable, rather than to live in that tremendous torment that never seemed to end. You know that I am not exaggerating because Our Lady told me how much Marisa suffered to make me understand, but there was no need, I had already understood; what Marisa was suffering was more painful than the sufferings and pain of Jesus on the cross. Why get there? Why ask so much? Why not give us some peace at last? We have loved and still love You, even if inside us there is an inner turmoil that it is difficult to dominate. Jesus, I would never have thought that we could get that far and even today we have been told that the situation is awful, but we are not the culprits of this situation, we are victims. You know, Jesus, that in a few weeks we will come to count thirty-seven years of a hard and impossible life; with your help we have done so far but, and I am telling you candidly as it is my custom, even with your help we cannot do it anymore. God certainly knows what He does, but I know what I am saying; it is not a rebellion but it is a request of mercy, and if you have mercy on us, do not make us experience days like these last ones, we do not deserve it. We have always given you the best and everything in order to follow You, my God; we gave up everything, we went against everyone, we were alone and losers, at least until now. You speak of triumph, of victory, but it is all turned in a future perspective; it will come, it will be there, He will keep His promises, but today, in this awful present, in this daily life so awful, there is no possibility of rejoicing or enjoying. It is true, we must say: after we have done all we had to do, we are useless servants, but I find a door wide open, I feel so useless and You know it, sometimes I feel like a failure and You Jesus, know it.

I finish because I cannot stand on my knees anymore, so I ask for Your forgiveness if there's anything to forgive.